She Chose Paris
by susan1124
Summary: What if Bella chose Jacob?  What if Alice called Edward first?  The decisions that we make everyday alter the course of our future.  What about Bella's future?  My first attempt at fan fiction answers these questions.
1. Paris

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me.**

_This story has been rattling around in my head for about a year now, since I first read New Moon. Hopefully, by finally writing it, I'll get it all out and get some sleep! The story opens in New Moon with Bella and Jacob in her truck in front of her house after the cliff diving incident. It's rated T for this pretty suggestive scene and a bit of profanity along the way. My first fan fic, enjoy!_

**Paris**

Bella's mind raced with possibilities. She knew this was in her power. She could choose Jacob. It would make him happy. She would be safe and even comfortable. If only she could divorce herself from the part of her that belonged to Edward. She knew that if the world worked the way it was suppose to work, she would have ended up with Jacob. He was in love with her. She never doubted _his _feelings for her.

The certainty of that thought brought her hand up to rest on his thigh. She knew there need be no explanations tonight. She forced her mind to focus only on the present moment, as she had so many times in the past six months. Jacob's body froze as she slowly trailed her hand over his rock hard abdomen. He tightened his arm around her slightly but otherwise did not move. She took her time, focusing on the physical sensations of his warm skin and hard muscles. She heard his breathing speed as her hand reached his neck. She lifted her face to look into his questioning black eyes. She met his lips softly at first, unsure what to expect. He pulled her close, putting his other arm around her. She parted her lips and he moaned softly. His kisses became more urgent. Werewolf or not, he was still a 16 year old male. Bella was surprised to find her body responding to his kisses. He shifted her onto his lap, facing him, circling her in his arms. As he kissed her neck, his hot hands slipped under her shirt and found the bare skin of her back. She was surprised at how natural it felt to be with Jacob like this. She heard a moan escape her own throat as he kissed down her neck and along her collarbone. He pulled her close to his chest, burying his face in her hair.

"Let's go inside," she suggested.

"Bella…" he whispered. She cut him off with a passionate kiss, allowing her hands to travel down his chest to his waist. She was counting on his 16 year old hormones to keep her from having to have this conversation right now.

"Are you sure…" he trailed off again in a hoarse whisper. She was now kissing his neck and chest, so far so good.

"Not really, but lets go inside anyway," she mumbled in his ear as she kissed it, pressing herself against him. He sucked in a breath and in a second they were out of the truck. He had her pinned against the driver's side door.

"I can't just be a filler, here to make you feel better for right now. Do you understand that?" He whispered. Damn his maturity, he was going to force her to voice her decisions. She could hear the pain in his voice.

"I know that and I don't want it either. You need to understand me, though. I'm still broken and I'll never really be whole again. I will, however, give you every part of me that I can. Is that enough for you?" He stared into her eyes for a long moment, bringing his hands up to her face. She saw a ghost of a smirk on his face before he kissed her. He was gentle and slow at first. She rose to her toes to return his kiss. Suddenly as he leaned into her, the urgency returned. He pulled her to him and his hands were unbuttoning her blouse. When their skin met, Bella felt a fire race through her. All she knew was Jacob, his hot skin, his hands, his lips. He was everywhere. For that time, he was her whole world and she lost herself in him.

Sometime later, Bella found herself in her bed, Jacob lying beside her. She had only vague memories of getting to her room. The memories of their arrival in her bed were much more clear and brought back the fire inside her. She had not felt this alive in months. She craned her neck up to kiss him and he sighed.

"What do you think Charlie will do if he looks in on you and finds me here?"

"I suspect he won't mind that much. Besides, I'm 18, what's he going to do about it?"

"Shoot me?" Jacob offered. Bella snorted and rested her head on his chest.

"Will Billy be worried?" She asked softly. Contemplating spending the night alone, she began to feel panic rise in her chest.

"Nah, when he phase it's sort of a right of passage. I'm considered a man now, regardless of my age. Sam will probably be pretty annoyed that I haven't checked in." Jacob was suddenly silent, his eyes wide.

"Uh-oh, I hear Charlie's car. What do you want me to do?"

"Hide!" she exclaimed. Jacob jumped up and gathered his clothes. He slipped into the closet as they heard Charlie come in the house. Bella pulled her quilt up to her chin and feigned sleep. Charlie poked his head in her room but, apparently, believed she was sleeping and closed the door softly. Bella tried to keep herself from remembering the other times a male companion had hidden from Charlie's nightly checks. This time, however, was much less innocent than those incidents. As Jacob rejoined her in bed, Bella tried to force her mind back to the present.

"As if you never existed," Bella muttered to herself.

"What, honey?" Jacob asked softly, kissing her neck again. Bella didn't answer as she focused on the physical sensations of Jacob's nearness. He made it much easier for her as his fingers trailed down her chest and stomach. The aching hole in her chest faded to nothing as she lost herself in Jacob again.


	2. Return

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me.**

_Author's Note: I hope you like the way things are going. I am really trying to stay true to the character's "voices" so please review and let me know what you think. Poor, tortured Edward returns, with bad timing, I might add. _

**Return**

Alice called insistently. She had done this before, calling every half hour until he answered. He knew he could just throw the phone away but a small part of him continued to worry about his family. He had instructed Alice not to look for his future and he truly believed she would try not to. Therefore, this 24th call in 12 hours was probably something about the family. He finally acquiesced by putting the phone to his ear and pushing the button. He did not bother with a greeting, neither did Alice.

"Listen, I wasn't looking, I swear but sometimes it happens and I can't help it. I saw her, I saw Bella jump off a cliff. I don't have any idea what happened. Everything disappeared before she even hit the water. I'm going to Forks to find out what happened," Alice said in a rush.

"No, you're not. I'll go. I won't contact her like I know you would. I'll just check and see what's happening. I'm in Rio now, please arrange for a plane ticket, I don't have any credit cards with me. I'll be in touch." Edward's voice was hoarse from disuse but he was sure Alice could hear the finality. He would just go check. If Bella really was gone, he would call Alice once he reached Italy. It would be too late for her to stop him then. If Bella was ok, he would leave and allow her to continue on with her human life, uninterrupted.

As he reached the street, he received a text from Carlisle telling him that an airline ticket awaited him at the airport. He was grateful to have a family that cared so much for him even though he had abandoned them. He would have to visit soon, before he went to Italy.

On the long flight to Washington, he made plans. He swore to himself that if Bella was not dead, he would keep his distance. He had made a pact with himself to give her at least one year. He was halfway there. However, he couldn't deny the lightness that he felt at the prospect of seeing her again. He felt a strange lightness at the prospect of confirming her death as well. He knew that upon learning of her death, he would end his own existence. The idea of finally ending his current state of misery was calming. He did not allow himself to consider how his family would react. He had been a drain on them for long enough. It was almost a relief to feel something other than the all consuming pain he had experienced since his lies to Bella in the forest.

He ran the distance from Port Angeles to Forks in record time. Upon arriving at Bella's house, he found it deserted. He had run by the police station but Charlie was not there. He decided to wait at her house for the night. If Charlie did not return, he would track down one of Bella's friends, preferably Angela Weber, to get the information he sought. With some apprehension, Edward crouched beside a large tree just up the path from Charlie's house. He had an unobstructed view of the driveway and would easily hear any thoughts or spoken words in the vicinity.

He felt relief wash over him when he heard the rumble of Bella's ancient truck a few miles away. He was surprised to hear the thoughts of an adolescent male. He gathered from the thoughts that Bella was with this young man. He saw her through his eyes, looking too pale, too thin. She was curled up next to this boy. Edwards felt the pangs of jealousy despite his stated hopes for Bella to move on. The conflicting feelings of relief and jealousy kept him still as stone in the dark shadow of the tree.

The truck pulled into the driveway and Edward was annoyed to see this child driving that decrepit vehicle. Then he spotted Bella and his attention was momentarily distracted by the sight of her, alive and well right in front of him. The boy's thoughts intruded on Edward's revere. He said something about being glad Bella was ok and Edward had to relive the cliff jumping incident in this boy's mind. He felt a grudging kind of appreciation as he saw the child dive in and save her. How did he do that? He was only a teenaged boy. How did he manage to survive those waves and pull her out? How could one so young be so strong?

Edward's musings were interrupted by much louder thoughts coming from the truck. He realized, with both rage and revulsion, what was happening. Had she really moved on as he intended? Who was this child who was currently man-handling _his_ Bella? Besides the typically lustful thoughts of a teenager, Edward heard questions. He attempted to focus on those. The boy was asking himself if Bella truly wanted him or was she just trying to fill the void that was in her life? Edward was not able to identify all of the emotions coursing through him. The rage was familiar, as was the pain that felt like he was burning. There was also guilt at what he had apparently put Bella through. He now recognized jealousy that another man was touching _his _Bella. There was fear, for the first time. Fear that he would spend the rest of his existence experiencing these unmanageable emotions. It did not seem like he would ever find relief. Certainly not sitting in this forest, watching this scene unfold in front of him.

When he believed that it could not possibly get worse, the door of the truck opened. His Bella was glued to this oversized child as they got out of the truck. A strange and unpleasant odor reached Edward and he realized things had gotten much much worse. His perfect recall told him that this boy, who was currently pressed up against the love of his existence, was a werewolf. The scent was not one of the distinct ones that he remembered, but a descendent. A Black by the look of him. Edward heard the exclamation in the boy's head when he caught Edward's scent. He recognized it as the vampire smell that was a fixture in Bella's room. What was this hormonal adolescent doing in Bella's room? The boy knew Edward was nearby and did not react. Edward felt stabbing pains where his heart used to be when Bella explained that she could never be whole. He knew that the boy's smirk was not meant for her. He realized that Edward was close and chose that moment to kiss her again. The rage that surged through Edward was barely contained. Only by repeating his belief to himself that Bella was better off did he manage to stay by that tree. He wanted to leave. He wanted to rip this man-child to shreds. He cold not stand this display any longer, but his feet would not move.

For reasons he could not identify, except his own need to continue to punish himself for hurting Bella, he stayed. He attempted to drown out the sounds and thoughts coming from Bella's bedroom by humming. He was unsuccessful. After what seemed like an impossibly long time, they began talking again. He smirked at Bella's comment that Charlie wouldn't mind finding Jacob there. That was probably true. All humor left him when he heard Jacob's thoughts at the mention of Sam. He saw glimpses of the wolf pack chasing a redheaded vampire. Someone he knew. Despite all he had attempted to do, all they had both endured, Victoria was back and she was hunting Bella. Edward did the only rational thing that came to his mind. He took out his phone and called Carlisle.

"I need you here, now," he said shortly. True to form, Carlisle asked no questions.

"Meet us at the house at dawn."


	3. Morning

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me.**

_Author's Note: This is sort of three short chapters in one. Jacob comes to some realizations, Bella thinks about what her relationship with Jacob entails, and Edward makes his own decisions. Pardon the f-bomb in this chapter, Edward finally lost his temper with Rosalie and it just slipped out. Please R & R and let me know what you think so far!_

**Jacob's Morning**

Jacob lay in Bella's bed with his arms wrapped around her. She was still sleeping. Charlie was gone. Jacob heard him leave early in the morning. Jacob had not slept much the night before. He took the time to think about all that had happened in the past few hours.

Just as he had drifted off to sleep last night, he felt Bella shudder. He looked down to realize that she was sobbing silently into his chest. His first irrational thought was that he must be pretty bad at this to make her cry. That didn't make sense though. She certainly seemed to be enjoying herself and Bella was really a terrible actor. As he replayed the evening in his head, he realized that this was what Bella meant. She was broken. No matter what he did, he would never be able to fix her. She had promised to give him all that she could, and he believed her. It seemed that there was always going to be a third party in their relationship. A ghost who would never allow Jacob to have all of Bella's heart. He understood now that by accepting Bella's invitations, he was also accepting that Edward was part of her. His mind felt much clearer now, without Bella's lips and body on his; pushing, searching, inviting. He knew that he would accept whatever she would give him and be thankful that he had it. For that reason, he held her close and stroked her hair while she cried herself to sleep.

He didn't know how long he had been sleeping when her cries startled him awake.

"Edward, please, don't go," she cried. His body automatically tensed for a fight before he realized she was still asleep. He had nearly forgotten about the nightmares. Her shout also reminded him of the sickly sweet smell in the air last night. He couldn't see him but knew he was near, watching and listening. The bloodsucker had returned. Jacob had not been able to control his smirk when he came to this conclusion but Bella hadn't noticed. He hoped the leech saw it and knew it was just for him. He had had a thought that Sam needed to know about this but Bella's warm lips pressing his drove that thought out quickly. Replaced by much more pleasant thoughts, which he hoped the bloodsucker heard as well.

Now that it was morning, Jacob realized that he must go to Sam as soon as possible. The pack would have to pull back the patrols if the leeches were returning. As he looked at Bella, her face peaceful in sleep, he knew that he did not want to see the pain this news would bring to her eyes. He knew he couldn't keep it from her either. He hoped the decisions she had made last night still applied if Edward was back. It was only fair to let her decide, though. No matter what, he would always have this night to remember. He kept that thought in the front of his mind as he gently shook her awake.

**Bella's Morning**

Bella woke to Jacob gently shaking her shoulder. She did not know the time but saw daylight coming through her window. The usual dull light of a cloudy day in Washington. Jacob smiled at her shyly.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said. She smiled back and kissed him quickly. She could never repay him for all he had done for her. He had truly saved her life and now provided her with a way to find herself again. She remembered her crying spell the night before and did not know whether or not to mention it to him.

"Are you ok?" he asked, concerned.

"Yes, why?"

"Uh…do you remember your dreams last night?" he asked quietly. She felt her face redden. She had been in the forest, chasing Edward with Jacob following behind. The feeling of horror and loss had not completely left her. She knew by the look on his face that she had been talking in her sleep again, probably screaming as loudly as she had in her dream for Edward to come back.

"I'm sorry," she said. Jacob smiled his bright sunny smile.

"No apologies. I understand, I told you that last night. Well, I don't think I actually got any words out, but you got the point."

"Yeah, not much question there."

"Look, I have to check in with Sam. He's probably already freaking out since he hasn't heard from me all night." Bella felt her face redden even more as she considered what would happen when Jacob phased.

"When you phase…they are all going to see…last night…aren't they?" Jacob smiled apologetically.

"I'll try not to think about it, really, I will. It's okay, you know. We have the same problem with Sam and Emily sometimes, trust me, nobody else _wants_ to see this…"he trailed off. Bella knew her face was probably horrified.

"It's a wolf thing…" he tried again. Bella shook her head. She knew there was nothing to be done about this and she would just have to face the consequences of her decisions. She hadn't considered all the baggage that came with being involved with a wolf, but it was worth it when Jacob gave her his bright smile and made the ever-present pain go away.

"Can I go with you? I'll wait at your house while you check in."

"Of course, go get in the shower. I'll wait for you here," he said, kissing her softly.

"Remember that I love you," he said. She smiled and headed for the bathroom. She knew this would not be easy but it felt right for her.

**Edward's Morning**

Edward slipped his phone back in his pocket. He felt like he would drown in Jacob's thoughts if he stayed. He had about five hours until his family arrived, so he ran. He ran without knowing where he was going. He steered clear of civilization so that he could have silence. Eventually, he found himself in the meadow surrounding his former residence. The sun had just cleared the horizon and his family was inside.

When he entered the house, he felt their thoughts wash over him.

_The kid's gone off the deep end again._

_My poor son, look at his pain._

_Is she alive? Please, please please…_

_What do you need? Anything…_

_Good God, when was the last time he put on clean clothes or brushed his hair?_

Jasper actually staggered back a step as the force of Edward's pain hit him.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered, seeing his brother's reaction. His run had not helped and he felt ready to snap. He had not felt so volatile since his newborn days. Jasper's attempts at calm had no effect on him and his family all stared, afraid to speak or move. Rosalie finally broke the silence.

"Is she dead? Can we finally move on with our lives or do we have to continue to revolve around your little human pet?" Edward's eyes shifted to her. His voice was so full of venom that Emmett stepped quickly in front of his mate.

"Rosalie, shut the fuck up before I rip your head off and start a bonfire right in this living room." His use of profanity directed at and in the presence of women was so out of character that no one knew what to do at first. Emmett growled low in his chest. A second later, Carlisle and Jasper stepped between Edward and Emmett.

"Rose, you will keep such comments to yourself," Carlisle commanded. Rosalie appeared just as shocked at everyone else. She stalked out of the room.

"Tell us what happened," Carlisle asked.

"She's alive. She was pulled out of the water by a werewolf of all things! A descendent of Black, I would guess. She appears to be intimately involved with this wolf…" He trailed off as his family's thoughts of sympathy bombarded him. Focusing on the task at hand, he continued.

"Apparently, the wolf pack has been protecting Bella and Charlie from Victoria. She has returned and is hunting Bella. Victoria seems to believe that killing Bella will avenge her mate. An eye for an eye, I suppose. She obviously is not aware that Bella and I are no longer together."

"I don't believe it matters if you and Bella are physically together or not. Victoria's aim is to hurt you and killing Bella would certainly do that. Your feelings have not changed. Being a vampire herself, Victoria will understand that something as temporary as this tryst with a werewolf would not change your feelings for Bella, which are at the very essence of your being," Carlisle explained, speaking out loud for everyone's benefit. Edward's face contorted with pain again. Jasper slipped out of the room, unable to handle the force of his brother's misery. Edward made an effort to control himself. Only by decades of practice was he able to force his voice out in an even and audible tone.

"We have to protect her. It's our fault she is being hunted. I can't leave this to the werewolves, it's not their fight," he said slowly. He already knew everyone was in agreement with him.

"This boy was a Black, you say? Then he will be the chief and we will need to discuss our plans with him," Carlisle explained.

_What do you want your role to be, son?_

Edward took a few moments to consider his options. He could swoop back into Bella's life and force her to choose. Would that be fair to her? Had she made her choice? He had already caused her so much disruption; he could not do it to her again. Her choice was clearly made and he would not stand in the way. Could he ask his family to do this for him? He looked at all their faces, watching him. Their thoughts clear in their willingness to help. Even Emmett, whose wife Edward had just insulted, was awaiting his answer.

"I don't believe it will be fair to Bella if I continue to disrupt her life. Especially as she has chosen to be with the wolf. However, I will continue to monitor her without her knowledge. It would be more convenient if you were to return to Forks and resume your lives. She'll be going to college in the fall so we'll have to rearrange things at that time. I won't ask you to do this if you would rather not," he directed this last statement to Emmett.

_Don't worry about Rose. She'll come around. We don't abandon our family._

Alice's thoughts interrupted. _Of course I'll be here. I'll go back to school on Monday._

"Alice, you will have the most difficult job. I beg you not to make this more difficult for her. You'll have to come up with some sort of explanation for my absence."

_Yeah, because we've never had to lie before. I'm sure I'll be fine._

"I will make some calls and return to the hospital. There shouldn't be any difficulties. Emmett, I will leave it to you to speak with Rosalie about how involved she will be," Carlisle stated.

"What about Jasper?" Edward asked Alice. She was quiet for a moment, looking into the future. Edward looked with her and felt a bit of relief.

"He'll stay with Edward. Please try to calm yourself. It is very hard for him to be around you like this," Alice addressed Edward seriously. He nodded his ascent.

"I've been thinking about why I didn't see Bella pulled out of the water. I still can't see her future. It's like a big black hole. I think it's the wolf. He seems to block my vision somehow. Carlisle, why do you think that might be?" Alice asked. Carlisle considered for a moment.

"I don't know for sure. I suspect it is some sort of defense the wolves have developed against us. Some of our talents do not work on them."

"Well, I can certainly hear the boy's thoughts," Edward stated darkly.

"Speaking of the boy, how will we arrange this meeting?" Carlisle asked. They all looked at each other while they considered this. They could not enter the wolves' territory and would need to have this conversation without Bella's presence.

"I know that he caught my scent. He knows I'm here but didn't react. He has excellent control for one so young. I can't say he has the same control over his hormones, but he is probably a very strong and developed wolf. He kept thinking that he needed to speak with someone named Sam. I don't know who that could be," Edward mused. Surely there was no one on the reservation with a bloodline stronger than Ephraim Black's heir.

"This may sound simplistic, by why don't we just call the boy?" Esme asked. She had been quiet throughout the exchange, focused on her son's pain. Everyone turned to her with incredulous and amused expressions on their faces.

"Of course, we're over thinking this. I'll go find a phone number," Carlisle exclaimed as he headed for a computer.

Rosalie and Jasper returned. Rosalie's thoughts were calm and had lost their edge. The rest of the family filled Rosalie and Jasper in on the plans.

Edward sat at the piano but did not play. He thought about what his life had become. He was miserable, there was no doubt about that. As he considered the mistakes he had made up to this point, he realized something that might make it easier for Jasper to be around him. Despite the pain, he realized that he would not change one moment of his time with Bella. Carlisle was right; his feelings for Bella were at the very core of his being. In his long existence, the months he had spent with Bella were like a second in time. His actions now were simply a payment owed for that moment of happiness. He still felt the pain but accepted it as a part of him. Like a dull ache that he would always carry. His purpose now was simply to keep Bella safe. That was a small price to pay for all she had given him in their short time together.


	4. Meetings

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer and not me.**

_A/N: This chapter turned out much longer than I anticipated but there were lots of meetings. Jacob is beginning to realize Bella's power over him and Bella has to figure out what to do when Alice turns up. Read and review, hope you like it!_

**Jacob's Meeting**

Jacob drove Bella's truck back to his house. He had not mentioned the bloodsuckers because he didn't know what to say. She sat quietly, holding his hand. The house was empty when they pulled up. Billy must have gone to the Clearwater's already. It always amazed him how well his father got around without being able to walk. On the kitchen table was a note from Billy.

_Jake – _

_Sam has been looking for you. I told him you probably "fell asleep" at the Swan's house. Contact him. _

_– Dad_

Jake snorted at his father's suggestive quotes. He turned to tell Bella that he wouldn't be gone long, but found her standing only inches away from him. She grinned slyly at him.

"Billy's not home then?" she commented, sliding her arms around his waist.

This new Bella was going to take some getting used to. She rose on her toes to kiss him but couldn't reach unless he bent down. He tried to give her just a quick kiss and head out, before Sam really freaked. Unfortunately, Bella had other ideas. She pulled him to her, running her hands up his chest and into his hair. Thoughts of Sam leaked slowly out of his brain. Before he thought about it, he had picked Bella up and set her on the kitchen counter so he didn't have to bend down so far. His hands reached for her bare skin like they had a mind of their own and he could no longer remember where it was he had planned to go. Somewhere in his foggy mind, he knew he shouldn't let her have so much control over him. Although, at this moment he had no idea why that might be a bad thing. Her breathing was coming in gasps as he kissed her neck and knotted his hand in her hair. He could feel her fingernails on the back of his neck, bringing back pleasant memories of the previous evening. He was considering the best way to get her to his bedroom when the phone rang. Its shrill sound brought him crashing back to earth.

He took two steps over to the cordless receiver and answered, attempting to regulate his breathing, his back to Bella.

"Hello."

"Is this Jacob Black?" asked a male voice with a slight English accent. If this was a telemarketer…

"Yeah," he said rudely. Bella hopped off the counter and wandered into the living room. He watched her sit on the couch and stare out the window, her eyes full of emotion.

"Jacob, this is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Do you know who I am?" Jacob took the receiver away from his ear and stared at it for a moment, not sure if he heard right. He paced the kitchen and eventually out the front door.

"Yeah, what the hell do you want?"

"We need to speak to you privately. Is Bella Swan with you?"

"Yeah."

"I'll try to explain quickly. I know that you are aware that Edward was in the area last night. First, I implore you not to share that with Bella if you haven't already. Edward does not wish to have contact with Bella at this time. He also does not wish to cause her any more pain. Will you agree not to share this with her?" Don't tell your girlfriend that her ex-boyfriend is back in town. Yeah, tough one.

"Uh…OK. Is that all?" Jacob asked blankly. This conversation was bizarre.

"No, actually. We would like to meet with you to discuss the treaty. My family has decided to return to Forks and I understand there has been some difficulty. We would like to help."

"Why would you talk to me about it? You need to talk to Sam Uley."

"Aren't you Ephraim Black's descendent?" Dr. Cullen asked. Jacob sighed and rolled his eyes at the phone. This was too much.

"All you need to know is that Sam Uley is the guy you want." It was none of this freak's business why Jacob wasn't the alpha wolf. Stuff like this conversation made him want the job even less.

"Would you consent to assist us in setting up a meeting?"

"Damn man, what else do you want? Lie to your girlfriend? Sure, so problem. Be a messenger boy for the parasites? Yeah, whatever. Like I don't have anything better to do," Jacob exclaimed sarcastically.

"I understand that we are asking a lot and I apologize for the inconvenience…" Dr. Cullen started.

"Oh hell. Just meet us at the northern boundary line in an hour." Jacob hung up quickly. His hands were trembling in his annoyance. He took a deep breath and went inside to tell Bella he was leaving, remembering to keep his distance this time.

**Cullen Meeting**

Carlisle closed his phone and looked around at his family.

"Obnoxious little snot, isn't he?" Emmett commented. Carlisle ignored Emmett and turned to Alice.

"Have you decided how to handle your return to school?"

"It will be best if Bella has some warning. I'm going to run into Angela Weber in Port Angeles this afternoon. She will be kind enough to tell Bella about our return rather than waiting to witness a scene like that horrid Jessica Stanley would."

"Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Jasper and I will go meet the wolves. Edward?" Carlisle questioned. Edward seemed unsure of himself, a new experience for everyone.

"I suppose I will check out the woods around Bella's house to see if Victoria has been there and if I can pick up a trail, I'll call you…" he trailed off. He registered the concern of his family over his apparent listlessness. Really, he just needed to be away from their constant pity. He knew Bella was on the reservation and he could not see her. He would just bide his time until she returned to school tomorrow. There, he could watch her all day long. The contentment he felt at that prospect surprised him. It would have to be enough now to watch over her. His way of thanking her for all she had given him.

**Pack Meeting**

Jacob leaned against the door frame of the living room. He hated the dead look Bella got when she held herself together like that. It was like she would fall apart if she didn't wrap her arms around herself.

"I gotta catch up with Sam before the whole pack hunts me down. Do you want to go to Emily's with me?"

"Sure," Bella got up and followed him out to the Rabbit.

Emily was home alone cleaning her kitchen.

"You're in it deep Jacob Black! You get out there and phase right now! Sam has been worried sick!" she exclaimed. She turned her gaze to Bella and gave her a welcoming smile, immediately chattering about a new cookbook she had gotten. Jacob rolled his eyes and gave Bella a swift kiss, which did not escape Emily's notice.

He headed out to the woods to phase, trying to concentrate on his conversation with Dr. Dracula so as not to embarrass Bella by sharing their intimate details. He heard his brothers' voices before all four of his paws even hit the ground. Sam and Quil and Embry were just a few miles away and he headed in their direction.

_It's about time_. Sam's voice was the loudest. Jacob replayed his phone conversation in his head. Sam immediately let out a howl to alert Paul and Jared to phase and join them.

Jacob entered the clearing silently and went to his place on Sam's right side, Embry moving back. Paul and Jared arrived shortly and Sam paced in front of them. He addressed Jacob first, stopping in front of him.

_Where the hell have you been?_

Despite his best efforts, images from last night flooded his mind. His brothers reacted immediately.

_It's about freaking time!_

_Jeez, do you have to be so graphic?_

_She really is pretty hot._

_I think I'm going to be sick!_

_Enough! __Jacob, don't do that again. I have a phone, so does Emily and Quil and Embry and Jared and Paul. Use it._

Sam's voice did not carry the double-timbre of the alpha command, but Jacob got the picture. Sam continued.

_Let's head over to the meeting point. I'll have to phase to talk to them. Jacob and Quil will be on my flanks. Embry, Paul and Jared will circle around and stay out of sight, just in case._

They reached the meeting place early but it already stunk of vampire. Jacob wrinkled his nose and Quil let out a soft whine. Jacob silenced him with a low growl. He would be in charge while Sam was human and he insisted on concentration. They did not anticipate any problems, but who can trust vampires?

Jacob noted immediately that Edward and the little female were missing. He sent Paul, Embry, and Jared to circle behind and check for an ambush. He stuck close to Sam's right side, Quil a few paces back on the left.

"Mr. Uley, thank you for meeting us," Dr. Leech said. This guy was just too nice to be a vampire. Jacob didn't buy it.

"What do you want?"

"It is our understanding that your pack has been pursuing a red haired female named Victoria. We are the ones who have offended her by killing her mate. We will take responsibility for protecting the Swans and hunting her down."

"No. This female threatens the mate of one of our pack. We protect our own."

"Perhaps a compromise? Obviously, Bella will be protected while she is with Jacob and within your lands. My family will protect her at school as my daughter will be there with her anyway. We will hunt Victoria on our own lands. Is there a way for us to share information?"

Sam looked at Jacob, who let out a growl. He didn't want to the Addams family here anywhere near Bella, but protecting her at school would take away a lot of their time from hunting and tracking Victoria. With his brothers' encouragement, he lowered his head in ascent.

**Bella's Meeting**

It was late afternoon before Jacob made it back to Emily's. Bella thought he looked distracted. She wondered if Sam had given him trouble and felt guilty for monopolizing his time. She felt her face burn with humiliation as Quil and Embry greeted her with knowing smiles. _He can't help it_, she told herself. They left shortly after and went back to Billy's house in the rain.

"What do you want to do?" Jacob asked with a yawn.

"Let's just hang out. You're exhausted."

They settled on the couch and found a bad 80's moving on TV. Bella cuddled up next to him and felt safe and comfortable. They kissed lazily, enjoying the quiet time together. Jacob pressed his lips to hers and the tip of his tongue traced her lips. Bella realized that the fire she felt in her heart was slow and smoldering. She did not experience the all consuming passion she had with Edward. That feeling was exciting but also frightening. It scared her because she now understood that in order to feel such overwhelming highs; there would also be overwhelming lows. She did not believe she could experience that roller coaster again and come out sane on the other end. Jacob was safe and comfortable. She had absolute confidence in his feelings for her and that gave her confidence in herself. She knew he would never willingly leave her. She appreciated his beauty, she marveled at his strength and he would be hers for as long as she wanted.

Eventually he fell asleep and she did not wake him. She was aware that she was not the most restful person with whom to share a bed. He must have been up half the night with her crying and screaming. So, she watched mind numbing television and traced patterns on his warm skin with her fingertip.

It was late evening before he woke.

"Sorry, I guess I haven't been sleeping much," he said groggily.

"That's ok. It's getting late and I should probably get home."

"I'll go with you," he offered getting to his feet and pulling her up.

"No, you should stay here. Billy might need you and you need to go to school tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not dating a high school drop out, that's why!" she said firmly. He smirked.

"Sure, sure. I'll pick you up after work tomorrow."

He walked her out to her truck and kissed her deeply, pressing her against the door like he did the night before. She returned his kiss enthusiastically, and then pushed against his chest. He backed up half a step.

"Quit trying to convince me to let you come over, it's too easy."

"Oh, look who's talking," he said playfully, kissing her ear and down the side of her face. She took a steadying breath.

"I mean it, go to school tomorrow. I'll call you to let you know I got home ok," she said, slipping into the truck.

Bella forced down the panic at the thought of a night alone. _You are not a child! You'll be fine!_ She told herself sternly. Charlie was home when she arrived and they exchanged a few words about Harry's funeral arrangements. He was obviously not in a talkative mood so Bella retired to her room. She paced the floor for a while, then gave up and lay down in her bed. She curled up on her side holding herself together, waiting for the pain to hit. When it did, she found that it was more of a dull ache. She simply had to shut the door on the part of her that belonged to Edward and let Jacob fill up the rest of her. She was asleep before she knew it.

The phone woke Bella before her alarm. Charlie was already gone, catching up at work.

"Hey, Bella, sorry to call so early," Angela Weber said.

"It's OK, is something wrong?"

"I just need a ride to school. Can you pick me up?"

"Sure, sure. Don't you usually ride with Ben?"

"He has a doctor's appointment this morning and my parents are already gone."

"No problem. I'll be there in a little bit." Bella was confused as she hung up the phone and headed for the shower. Angela had never asked her for anything before.

Angela was waiting when Bella pulled up in her driveway. She looked nervous and upset. Bella wondered briefly if something had happened with Ben.

"I have to tell you something," Angela said as soon as she climbed into the passenger seat. Bella turned to face her without starting the truck.

"I didn't think it would be fair for you to show up at school and see…Well, I ran into Alice Cullen in Port Angeles yesterday. She told me that they moved back here. Mrs. Cullen hated LA. She said Edward decided to stay there with a cousin to finish his senior year but Alice will be at school today. She said you guys haven't talked and that you didn't know they were back…or about Edward…" Angela said in a rush. Bella just stared at her, the hole in her chest throbbing. It felt like it took her a long time to process this information.

"The Cullens are back, without Edward?" she asked in a small voice. She knew there was no cousin and he wasn't in LA for that matter. He had chosen to stay away. This realization hit her as Angela put a hand on her arm.

"Are you ok?" she asked. Bella shook her head.

"Can drive to school," Bella asked quietly. They switched places and Bella was lost for a while. He really did not want to be around her. So much, that he left his family to avoid her. That fact hammered itself into her head over and over.

"I'm sorry Bella, but I thought you should know." Bella suddenly realized she was not alone in the car and they were almost to school.

"Thank you for telling me, Angela. You're a good friend," she said hoarsely.

She blinked repeatedly when they pulled into the parking lot. There was Alice, standing next to Rosalie's BMW, watching Bella and Angela pull in. Bella approached Alice warily, waiting for her to disappear like the mirage she probably was. Alice spoke first.

"Angela told you." It wasn't a question.

"Why are you back? I mean, I'm happy to see you and I've missed you but I never expected to see you again."

"I think the whole story will have to wait. Maybe after school?"

"I have to work. After that?" Bella asked. She had absolutely no idea how she felt about this.

"Yes, after work. Bella…I'm so sorry. I just…I'm sorry," Alice said, linking her arm with Bella's as they walked toward the classrooms.

"I know Alice. I know that you did what you had to. I'm just…a little overwhelmed at the moment." Alice squeezed her arm gently and went to her classroom. Edward's desk had never been filled and its emptiness loomed in her peripheral vision. She ignored the teacher as she attempted to sort out her feelings. _He doesn't want me_. The thought pounded in her head, in time with her heart beat until she couldn't hear anything else.

At lunch, Alice played her part perfectly. She explained how Esme had hated the city and the heat. She explained that she was unhappy with the school. She explained Edward's choice to stay and finish out his senior year as their lunch companions stole glances at Bella out of the corners of their eyes. Bella's face burned but she tolerated it all quietly, knowing the necessity of the cover story. She floated through the rest of the day without really knowing what was going on around her. She might have returned to her former zombie state if she hadn't called Jacob to change their plans.

"Did you know the Cullens were back?" she tried to keep the accusation out of her voice.

"We met with them yesterday. I thought they should tell you themselves. I thought it might be better for you…to decide what you wanted…without me there," he trailed off. She heard the uncertainty in his voice and realized how selfish she had been.

"Aw Jake, I thought you knew. It's you I want to be with, no matter where the Cullens are! I mean, Alice is a good friend and I'd like to spend some time with her, but I want _you_ Jacob. Do you get that?" Bella could hear the relief in his teasing tone.

"Well, honey, you know where to find me and you may have noticed I'm not too hard to convince."

"Good, I'm counting on it. I'll call you later."

Alice met Bella at her house after work. She came in the window to avoid Charlie.

"So, since I know you were never in LA and Esme doesn't have strong opinions about the city, are you going to tell me what's really going on?"

"I saw you jump off the cliff. I can't see Jacob. I can't see werewolves at all so I didn't know if you were dead or what. We came back that night and heard the rumors about Victoria. We decided we needed to return to take care of the problem, seeing as we started this. So, here we are," she explained.

"Why didn't you say anything that night?"

"Uh…you seemed to be occupied at the time," Alice replied delicately. Bella blushed deeply. It was impossible to get any privacy with all these supernatural creatures running around. She realized that Alice didn't mention who was there that night.

"Does he…does Edward…know?" Her voice was so quiet that no one else could have heard her. Alice did not meet her eyes when she answered.

"Yes. He knows that you have chosen to be with Jacob. He wants you to be happy. That's why he decided to stay away. He wants you to have a chance at a life without him. Bella, I know he hurt you but please don't hate him," Alice was pleading now. Bella took a deep breath and once again closed the Edward door in her heart.

"I could never hate him, I love him too much. Isn't that pathetic when I've already got Jacob?"

"No, not pathetic. You, in particular, have enough love for both. Be with Jacob, if that's what you want. Even if he is a dog," Alice finished lightly. Bella blinked back the tears in her eyes.

"I guess we won't be going out on too many double dates or anything," she teased. Alice wrinkled her nose.

"That wouldn't end well, I'm sure. But I've missed you. I've missed my friend." Bella gave Alice a hug and swallowed her tears. "I've been tasked with keeping an eye on you when you're not with the dogs, so we'll have some time together," Alice assured her. Bella was reminded of the threat of Victoria that continued to hang over her head. She no longer understood why Victoria continued to hunt her but she did not have the emotional energy to have that conversation yet.

Alice left soon after, promising someone would be close by. Bella paced her room for only a few minutes before running out to her truck. She suddenly had an uncontrollable need to see Jacob. It was as if he could put her world right again, if only she was with him.

She saw a chocolate brown wolf as she passed onto the reservation and knew Jacob would be waiting for her. Then, there he was, standing in his yard. He looked tall and strong and steady. She threw herself into his arms and help on tight, trying to ground herself.

"Are you alright?" he asked, leaning down to look into her face. She couldn't speak. She felt like she was drowning again and only he could save her. She wrapped her hands around his neck and kissed him with more passion than ever before. He was hesitant at first but, as he said himself, he wasn't hard to convince. He pulled back just once but Bella was frantic.

"Hey, what is it?" he asked. With an impatient noise, she pulled him to her again.

"I need you, Jacob Black. I need you so much right now," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. Jacob could usually be counted on to take a not so subtle hint. He picked her up and kissed her. His hot lips on her, his kisses searching, her fingernail digging into his bare back, hanging on. He carried her into the house and did not ask any more questions.


	5. Settling

**OK, so I started reading a couple of books by Maggie Stiefvater and couldn't stop. So...all of my free time was spent on that I haven't been writing. However, I finally got started again and we're about halfway through. I know it's been a while but I blame that damn Maggie Stiefvater for being such an amazing writer! If you haven't read her books you should, they are fabulous!**

**In this chapter, Bella's life is moving along and she's actually happy for a while. I think there are three or four chapters left, I haven't decided how to divide it all up. Hopefully, it won't take me as long to update because I've read all of Maggie Stiefvater's books...unless I discover _another_ fabulous author. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think!**

**Settling**

Bella glanced at the clock over Jacob's bare shoulder and attempted to extricate herself from his arms. He woke up slightly and pulled her closer.

"Where do you think you're going?" he growled, kissing her slowly. She pulled back enough to catch her breath.

"I have to go home. It's late and Charlie will worry," she whispered. Jacob didn't appear to be listening as his hands roamed over her body and his mouth followed. Bella did her best to hold on to rational thought and caught his hands in hers. He finally met her eyes with an impish smile.

"You _really_ have to go?" he asked teasingly. It wasn't fair that he could read her so well.

"Yes, Jake, I have to go. I have school tomorrow and so do you. Aren't you suppose to be patrolling or something?" Jacob rolled over with a groan.

"Yes, I am. Quil took over for me when he saw you tearing onto the rez. You ever gonna tell me what this is about?" he asked. Bella's face reddened, remembering her need to be lost, to forget for a while. One part of her felt guilty for using Jacob in this way. She knew she loved him as much as she could and he said that was enough. She hoped it was true. She decided to go for sarcasm to try to keep things light.

"I'm sorry. It sounded like you were complaining about your girlfriend, as I am choosing to designate myself, running to your house and essentially attacking you on your front lawn. Is that it?"

"No, I am certainly not one to complain!" he chuckled. Then he continued, looking at her more seriously.

"I just want to know what's going on with you. I never pegged you as the type to throw herself at guys."

"I don't throw myself at _guys_…"she replied indignantly.

"Just me," he stated with a smirk. She finally smiled.

"OK, maybe a little bit. Honestly, I don't know what's going on in my head most of the time anymore. I just know that I trust you and I need you with me. You are the one who has reminded me how to be me, does that make sense?" Jacob was quiet for a moment.

"Yes, it also makes me feel like an ass for taking advantage of a vulnerable girl."

"You're not taking advantage. Jake, you've always been just what I needed. First, my best friend and now my lover. I only hope what I can give you back is enough." Jacob pulled her into his arms again and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you, Bella. I'll take whatever you've got."

* * *

Bella's life fell into a comfortable pattern. She went to school and work. Jacob came over most evenings. They worked on homework at the kitchen table. She helped him catch up from missing so much school after phasing and patrolling. He was excellent with math and other concrete concepts. He struggled with history and literature, things that he couldn't fit into a specific pattern. She began to understand how he was so good with machines. Machines followed a fixed pattern. As soon as Jacob was able to understand a basic concept, he could generalize to other things. He was much more intelligent than she ever thought, and he was a great problem solver.

She spent time with Alice periodically, usually when Jacob was busy. They shopped in Portland and Olympia. She and Alice talked about everything but Edward. Both were careful not to mention him. As the weeks went on, Bella felt the Edward door in her heart opening less often. She actually felt content, a feeling she had never experienced for any length of time.

Jacob and Billy and most of the pack attended her graduation. There were some tense moments when they encountered the Cullen family but, as usual, Carlisle was able to calm everyone down. They had a graduation party in La Push for Bella, Paul, and Jared, which lasted most of the night. Bella was surprised to find herself completely comfortable with this group.

The week after graduation, she received a suprising letter in the mail. She had been looking for her financial aid confirmation. She had finally chosen to attend the University of Washington in Seattle. The letter read:

_Dear Ms Swan:_

_We are happy to inform you that you have been awarded the Washington State Law Enforcement Dependent Scholarship for the 2010-2011 academic year. According to FAFSA paperwork filed, you are the only female dependent of a Washington law enforcement officer. This and your outstanding high school achievement have qualified you for a full scholarship to the Washington state school of your choice. The full amount of your tuition, fees, and housing costs have been deposited in your student account at the University of Washington. This scholarship will be automatically renewed for a total of eight semesters as long as you retain full time status. Congratulations and good luck in your future endeavors._

_Sincerely,_

_Russel Winthrop_

_Administrator, Washington State Law Enforcement Scholarship Fund_

Bella stated at the letter for a long time. A full scholarship? All because of her FAFSA form? She didn't know that was possible. She felt excitement bubble up, realizing that this meant she would not have to worry about finding a way to pay for college with loans. She could use what was left of her college fund for things like books and gas to come home every weekend. She ran to the phone and called Jacob.

The summer seemed to fly by. Bella spent most of her time in La Push. Jacob had taken a part time job at Dowlings Auto Service in town. While he worked, Bella helped Billy around the house and spent time with Emily. Charlie often came down for dinner in the evenings. There were barbeques and bonfires. Sam and Emily were married at the end of July in a traditional service on the reservation. Bella felt like part of a family again.

* * *

Edward watched, hidden in the shadows, either Alice or Jasper by his side. He was silent and spent almost no time with the rest of his family. While Bella was in La Push, he wondered around the woods near her house, searching for Victoria but finding nothing. He wondered what his purpose would be after he killed her. Bella would no longer need him. He would no longer have an excuse to follow her around and watch her. What would become of his existence?

* * *

Mid-August finally arrived. Jacob, Charlie and Billy accompanied Bella to school to help her move in. Charlie and Billy rode in Bella's truck while Jacob drove Bella in the Rabbit.

"You never told me about your roommate," Jacob commented. Bella shrugged. Being an only child, she was nervous about sharing a room with someone for the first time.

"I just got an email from her last week. Her name is Mary. Basically, she said she has everything we need and I just have to show up."

"That's cool, I guess. I mean, as long as she's not like some crazy chick who painted to walls black and only sleeps during the day and steals your underwear or something."

"Wow, that was really helpful. Thanks," Bella replied sarcastically. He squeezed her hand gently.

"You'll be fine, quit worrying. Don't they match you according to your interests?"

"Great, I'm going to end up with some boring nerd who only speaks with an old English accent!" Jacob laughed and rolled his eyes.

"I wasn't aware you listed 'old English accent' as an interest," he teased. Bella finally smiled and looked down.

"So, since you're working this weekend, I guess I'll come home?" She didn't know why she was suddenly questioning whether he wanted her home. Jacob glanced at her and smiled.

"That would be great. I worked it out with Mr. Dowling that I'll get off one Saturday a month so I can come here." Bella felt sudden relief wash over her. She was dreading this goodbye and dreading being alone tonight. At least she had something to look forward to in just a few days. She hoped to be able to bury herself in schoolwork until then.

They found her dorm easily. The front sidewalk was crowded with helpful looking people in bright orange T-shirts. A small girl with a mass of curly red hair and freckles approached them.

"Hi, I'm Becky! I'm one of the volunteers helping freshmen move in! What's your room number?" She was rather cheerful and sounded like each of her sentences ended with an exclamation point. Her blue eyes focused on Jacob and she gave him a blinding smile. He smirked and put his arm around Bella.

"Uh…156," Bella said quietly. Becky seemed to suddenly notice her and her smile faltered a little.

"Oh, your roommate is already here! Interesting girl! Follow me," she said. She took off into the building without checking to see if they followed. Bella and Jacob trailed behind her while Charlie started unloading the truck at the designated spot on the sidewalk. Becky led them down a long hallway, packed with people and stopped in front of the last door on the right.

"This is the women's wing. The men's hall is on the other side. Then, on the second floor, it's switched, so you've got boys above you. It kind of sucks because they're loud. Anyway, you'll meet your RA tonight, there will be a hall meeting at 8 in your common room, right here," she indicated the door at the end of the hall. "That's where the couches and big TV and stuff are. I live here too, I'm on the second floor, 218, come visit anytime. Your RA's room is there across the hall. Her name is Rosa or something. I think your roommate is still here…uh…I'm going to go help your dad," Becky stammered. Bella got the impression that Becky did not want to see Bella's roommate. Her stomach clenched in fear as she looked up at Jacob. Of course, nothing ever bothered him.

"Oh, quit freaking out. She can't be that bad," he said and pushed the door open. Bella's heart stopped and she heard Jacob take in a sharp breath next to her.

* * *

The room looked like it belonged in a magazine. All slate blue and warm chocolate brown, the old tile floor was covered by a room sized rug, the beds were pushed to the right side of the room and made up with down comforters and fluffy pillows. On the left wall were two desks, side by side, each sporting sleek new laptops and a wireless printer. The walls were covered with art work that accentuated the color theme of the room. At the other end of the room, by the windows was a love seat, covered in slate blue and next to it was a brown recliner. Perched on the recliner was Alice.

* * *

Jacob felt the heat rush up his spine, instinct telling him to shift and fight, to protect what was his. Through sheer force of will, he calmed his trembling body and breathed shallowly, the stench was intense in such a small room. He had been wrong when he reassured Bella in the hall. The new roommate was worse than he ever imagined.

Of course Bella, lacking any sense of self-preservation, ran forward to hug the tiny vampire.

"Alice! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, it took you so long to settle on a college that we weren't sure we could get the room assignments arranged in time. Can you believe they paired you with some girl who likes classic literature and cooking? Boorrrring!" Alice trilled.

"Uh…Alice…Those are things that _I_ like."

"Yes well, you're much more interesting than that. Oh, I see you brought the family dog," Alice remarked, pretending she had just noticed Jacob. Yeah right, she probably heard him in the parking lot. Jacob locked eyes with her.

"So, this is your plan for protection? This place is a lot bigger than Forks High School."

"Not the only plan." Alice turned to Bella. "Jasper is directly above us. Rose is across the hall, she's the RA for this hall. That will be fun to watch," Alice added mischievously. Rather than happy, Bella looked so miserable that Jacob wanted to take her back home right then.

"Alice, I don't want you guys stopping your lives for me. This is ridiculous. How many times have you been to college? Why is Victoria even still after me? I mean, hasn't she figured out that Ed…Edward left me?" Jacob put his arms around Bella. He still hated the way she couldn't help but stutter over the leech's name. They looked at Alice expectantly. Jacob had been wondering the same thing. Alice opened her mouth to answer but stopped.

Jacob heard it too, Charlie was coming down the hall with a chattering Becky. Charlie didn't look especially surprised to find Alice there. Alice seemed to make Becky nervous, but not too nervous to check out Jacob's butt. He raised his eyebrows when she met his eyes. The girl didn't even blush! She just smiled and winked and went back down the hall. Jacob shook his head to clear it. College girls!

Focusing on the conversation, he heard Alice spinning her lies about choosing this school and being lucky enough to have her roommate request granted. _Lucky my ass_! Jacob thought. He wondered if they even bothered bribing the school or if they just hacked into the computer system and changed it. His money was on hacking, that tall blond vampire always looked a little shady to him.

Before Jacob knew it, Bella was moved in and they had taken a short tour of the campus, led by the ever cheerful Becky. She continued to check Jacob out when Bella was not looking. He was starting to get a little self conscious. Alice had made some excuse and gone to Rosalie's room across the hall. Charlie cleared his throat and gave Bella a hug.

"I guess I'll see you this weekend, kid," he said. Bella nodded, a tear in her eye. Charlie quickly turned and wheeled Billy out, mumbling something about waiting in the car.

Jacob looked down at Bella and felt a tug on his heart. She looked very fragile to him, he found he was afraid to leave her alone. He pulled her into his arms.

"Hey, I'll see you soon," he said gruffly. She hugged him back, stretching up on her toes.

"Be good. Go to school, all that stuff," she mumbled. He leaned down and kissed her softly. As usual, she pulled him closer. Her hands wound into his hair and her lips parted. Jacob returned her kiss eagerly, part of his brain wondering exactly how long Charlie would wait in the car, as he rubbed his hand up and down her back. Reason began to leak back into his brain when he backed her up against the desk and caught a lingering whiff of Alice. Nothing kills the mood like the smell of vampire. Reluctantly, he stepped back and looked into her bright eyes. How did she keep doing that to him? She smiled sheepishly and he wanted to kiss her again.

"My dad's waiting," she whispered. Jacob dipped his head to kiss her cheeks and forehead and nose softly.

"Be careful. Stick with the bloodsuckers. I can't believe I'm saying that, but they'll protect you. I love you more than anything," he said hoarsely.

"I love you too. Don't forget that. And watch out for Becky, she's probably waiting to ambush you in the hall or something," Bella teased. Jacob actually felt embarrassed, a new experience.

"Oh…uh…you saw that?"

"It's alright. You can't help being hot," she replied coyly, running her hands across his chest. He caught her hands and kissed her again, tracing her lips with his tongue. For once, she stood still and he kissed her for a long time, just enjoying the feel of her, and still reveling in the fact that she called him 'hot'.

"I'll watch out for those crazy girls. You don't forget to be careful too," he teased. He gave her one more hug and headed out into the overcast day.

* * *

Late that night, Bella lay in her bed, quietly staring at the ceiling. Alice sat in the chair, reading a book of Korean poetry. She could hear Jasper and Rosalie upstairs, arguing over the television. Carlisle and Esme were still in Fords to help keep an eye on Charlie. Emmett had managed to get an internship with the Forks Police Department for the year. Since Chief Swan was one of only two full time officers, the rest being part time, Emmett spent most of his time with Charlie while he worked.

She knew Edward was outside the window, in the shadows, where he now spent all of his time. Alice worried about her favorite brother. She had no idea what would happen in his future because he had not been making any decisions or plans for a long time. He was simply existing. Jasper had told her that Edward no longer felt the constant stabbing pain. Instead, when Jasper was with Edward he felt only numb. Jasper did not seem to think it was much of an improvement but no one knew how to help Edward anymore.

"Alice, what are you reading?" Bella's voice came from the bottom bunk.

"Korean poetry. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"Yeah, but I can't. I keep thinking about Rosalie trying to explain rules and policies to a bunch of 18 year old girls. She looked ready to rip someone's head off. It was hilarious."

"That _was_ pretty funny. Imagine the first time one of them comes to her with a roommate problem," Alice laughed and Bella joined in. Alice heard Edward's low chuckle outside the window.

"Can you explain something to me?" Bella asked. Alice saw a flash of what Bella was going to say and began trying to formulate a response.

"OK,"

"Why is Victoria still after me? Doesn't she know? I mean…about Edward and me?" Alice tried to think through what to say. She understood Victoria's reasons perfectly but she didn't think Edward wanted Bella to know the details.

"Bella, why do you think Edward left?"

"Because he doesn't love me. He made that clear. I don't really want to re-live that conversation, Alice," Bella's voice was uncharacteristically cold. She was now laying on her stomach, propped up on her elbows and staring at Alice.

"No, I don't want that either. I do want you to consider this from another view. What if Edward didn't leave because he doesn't love you? What if he thought, in his demented and self-centered brain, that his leaving was what was best for you? Would that mean he doesn't love you?" Alice heard a hiss outside the window. Well, someone had to explain this.

_If you want to take over this conversation, brother, you go right ahead!_

Silence outside and inside.

"If he left for that reason, then he's an idiot," Bella stated. Alice smiled, glad Edward was hearing this. "I would expect him to know that I don't take it well when people make decisions for me, in fact, I hate it. He doesn't get to decide what's good for me, that my choice! What kind of moron is he?" Bella vented.

"The arrogant kind who believes he knows what's best for everyone."

* * *

Edward stood in the shadows of the building with his forehead pressed against the brick, his eyes squeezed shut. Pain assaulted him as he listened to Bella's anger. He deserved it but it didn't change his belief that he had done the right thing. He head snapped up when he heard Alice's next question in her mind before she spoke. He wanted to strangle her but he also desperately wanted to hear the answer.

* * *

"Do you still love him?" Alice asked quietly. Bella was quiet for a moment.

"Yes, I will always love him and not in a cheesy 'he has a special place in my heart' kind of way. There is a large part of me that still belongs to him. However, I'm with Jacob and I love him. He is my best friend and he adores me and he makes me feel good. I know that Jacob will never hurt me. So, yes, I love him but it doesn't change anything."

* * *

Edward stood motionless. She still loved him? It didn't change anything? These two phrases echoed in his mind. He felt so many different things that he had no idea what to do with this information. He had still lost her to the wolf, he understood that. He knew Bella well enough to know that when she made such a declaration it was not to be taken lightly. Even so, she still loved him and that was all he needed to know.

* * *

Alice did not reply. She wondered what Edward was thinking.

"What does this have to do with Victoria?" Bella asked.

"Well, perhaps Edwards still loves you too, but it's not enough. He loves you enough to let you go, to keep you from having to choose. Victoria, unfortunately, only cares about how it would hurt Edward if you died." Alice heard another growl outside the window and understood that Edward thought she said too much.

_Too bad, I'm improvising. You know, she's a lot tougher than you give her credit for. Think about that._

Bella just stared at Alice for a few minutes.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," She stated with finality. She turned over and pulled her blankets up, effectively ending the conversation. Alice went back to her book, thinking that she would go hunting later and Edward might want to go with her.


End file.
